


Melodifestivalen

by Anonymous



Series: Norwegian Nights [47]
Category: Eurovision Song Contest RPF, Melodifestivalen RPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-26
Updated: 2009-03-26
Packaged: 2020-01-01 01:29:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18325934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Carl Gustaf, the king of Sweden, wants to enforce a Melodifestivalen tax, but the entrants do not want to pay it. So the king gets a tank and drives it into the Globen.





	Melodifestivalen

The King of Sweden, Carl Gustaf, sat with one of his advisors in Stockholm Palace.  
"What I am trying to tell you, your majesty, is that unless we do something to raise revenue in this current economic climate... the entire nation of Sweden could be bankrupt in less than two months!" the advisor said.  
"What?" Carl replied, "Two months? But that's ridiculous!"  
"I know, there must be some way to raise money... but..."  
"Well, it seems we are in quite a situation here. How about taxes?"  
"Taxes? Well... yes... I suppose we could start a new tax."  
"Indeed, a new tax, but it would have to be on something that everyone in Sweden uses..." Carl said.  
Carl looked to the TV that was currently on in the corner of the room. An advert for Melodifestivalen was on.  
"How about a music tax," Carl smiled, "And we'll start by taxing that horrific contest, Melodifestivalen."  
"Uh... well actually, your majesty, I quite enjoy Melodifestivalen, and so do a lot of people here in Sweden. It's one of our longest running and most watched contests-"  
"I don't give a crap what you think!" the King yelled, "I hate it! I hate that horrid contest and I hate the Eurovision! How dare they not let us qualify through to the final! That was the first time we haven't qualified! The countries of Europe are turning on us... arrgh! I hate Melodifestivalen!"  
"Well, everyone else here in Sweden loves it, so you are in the minority."  
"Did I ask for what you thought about it? You think I give a crap about that steaming pile of shit?! Why would I give two flying shits about your opinion when your worth is lower than that of a fly?! You dare express your opinion in my presence and you will be imprisoned and executed! Do you understand!"  
"Y...y..yes, your majesty... I'm sorry..."  
"Excellent," the King smiled, "Melodifestivalen has been running for what... fifty years now? Melodifestivalen Tax can bring us as a nation out of the recession! Time to collect our taxes for that shambles of a contest. Ahahahahaha!"  
\----  
\--Meanwhile, in the Globen--  
This year, Melodifestival would be held in the Swedish arena known as the Globen. Inside, the contestants were all waiting.  
Eric Saade and Danny Saucedo were talking and laughing with each other, as usual. The other contestants were standing around, wondering if they could be the winner of Melodifestivalen and represent Sweden in the Eurovision Song Contest. The Playtones and Swingfly were sitting in the corner, waiting for the announcement that Melodifestival 2011 had officially started.  
"Hey, Brolle," said Sanna Nielsen, "You seem confident, but did you hear that Eric Saade is the favourite to win?"  
"Haha," Brolle said, "Don't worry Sanna, only complete fjortisar like Saade."  
"Well then," Eric shouted in Brolle's direction, "I'll just have to hope there are a lot of fjortisar voting tonight then, won't I?"  
Suddenly, the front door of the Globen opened and all the contestants turned to see who it was.  
It was the King of Sweden, Carl Gustaf, who walked right up to the contestants.  
"Y...your majesty!" Sanna said, "What... what are you doing here?!"  
"I'm collecting your taxes now," Carl said.  
"What taxes?" The Moniker asked.  
"Don't play stupid with me, the taxes you owe me for fifty years of Melodifestivalen!" Carl yelled, "You people owe me money in taxes for hosting this shite contest."   
"Uh... there's no tax for-" Sanna began.  
"Melodifestivalen Tax!" Carl yelled, "It's the new tax that you must pay! Pay it up now!!!"  
"Pfftttt... we don't have to pay 'taxes' to hold MF," Eric said, "Now how about you run along home."  
"What the... I am the King of Sweden!!!" Carl yelled, "And you will do as I say!!!"  
"The people of Sweden are not sheep," said Danny, "And we don't have to do everything you say. You can't come in here yelling and threatening us."  
"King, maybe you should leave," The Moniker said, "It's not good to just storm into here and demand that we pay you taxes that you've only just invented."  
"I... grrr!" and with that the King stormed off, leaving the Melodifestivalen entrants to wonder what the hell had even just happened.  
"Well that was... something," Eric said.  
"Jeez, what was that about?!" Brolle said.  
"Maybe the King should spend more time in his palace," Sara Vargas said.  
"See, I knew the King didn't like all this," said Danny, "He has always hated Melodifestivalen."  
\----  
Meanwhile the King of Sweden was sitting in his tank, waiting outside the Globen.   
"If they won't pay their taxes willingly... then I will force them to pay!" Carl Gustaf muttered to himself.  
\----  
Later that day the King of Sweden returned to Melodifestivalen, riding in his tank, but he had not predicted that the people were angry at him. Angry at him trying to ruin Melodifestivalen. Angry that he would do such a thing. Perhaps he was no longer fit to be king? Surely someone else would be better suited for this? The audience surrounded the tank, and one of them even got inside to take the King's crown away. The King didn't want to fire on the people, even though he hated Melodifestivalen, so he just let them do it. Maybe it was time for the King to retire, he did have plenty of money after all, more than anyone could possibly need.  
\----  
But there was still the question of who the new King of Sweden should be.  
"The answer is obvious," Danny said as he handed the crown to Eric Saade, "Eric should be the new King of Sweden. As the winner of Melodifestivalen, he will surely be a great king."  
"Me? The King of Sweden?" Eric said, "But why?"  
"Yes well, you know Portugal made Homens da Luta their presidents, and they're happier than ever!" said Anna Bergendahl.  
"I... I can't accept this," Eric said, looking down at the crown in his hands.  
"Why not?" Danny asked, "You'd make a great king! And I'm sure the whole of Sweden will agree!"  
"No, I can't be King," Eric said, "But I know someone who can..."  
"Really?" Danny asked, "Who?"  
"You, of course," Eric said, to Danny's surprise.  
"Me?" Danny said, "But-"  
"You will be a great King Danny. Well, here it is," Eric smiled, "Think of this as your consolation prize for Melodifestivalen..."  
"So, this is my second place prize, then?" Danny smiled.  
"Yes," Eric smiled, "Yes it is."  
And with that, Eric put the crown on Danny's head. And so Danny Saucedo was the new King of Sweden. And the people of Sweden couldn't be happier.


End file.
